Why do We Love to be Scared?
I don’t remember when the switch flipped.
When did I go from hiding my eyes when a horror movie was on to gleefully picking out stacks of the scariest ones I could find at the local video store? My best friends and I started having sleepovers in middle school and I remember how exciting it was to pick out the movies with the creepiest covers and then go home and watch two or three in a row while eating whole blocks of Velveeta in the form of homemade queso.
Over time, my love of horror changed.
Early on, loved scary books, starting with reading It by Stephen King in 6th grade, then moving on to every book by him that I could find. Next, it was Anne Rice, who I thank for my temporary obsession with boys who were self-obsessed, moody, and “edgy”.
I was briefly fascinated with serial killers, mostly thanks to Jodie Foster’s character Clarice Starling, in Silence of the Lambs, but as soon as my first child was born that became too disturbing.
I never lost my love of monsters though.
As an empathic person, it may seem to be a strange love.
My heart breaks a little bit when I see a dead squirrel on the road. I cry in the theater watching movie trailers. Even certain song lyrics make my voice crack with emotion.
So how can I enjoy watching people who are in fear for their lives?
I heard an interview on NPR recently about this phenomenon and the researcher describes three main reasons why people love being scared.
The first is actually the least common: people who are adrenaline junkies and just love the thrill of being terrified and seek out those experiences.
The second are those he calls “white knucklers” who want to explore the limits of their fear.
The last one is the most interesting to me… these folks use horror and make-believe fear as a way of exploring existential themes. He calls this group the “dark copers” and suggests that they use horror as a way of exploring and coping with darker themes in their own lives, like anxiety, fear, and death.
Although I do love the “white knuckle” aspect of horror, this last category, the “dark copers” is the one that really resonated with me.
Which makes sense when you know my main theoretical orientation in counseling is existential. I believe we are all thrown into the world and have the universal challenge of coping with our own fear, anxiety, and the knowledge that we are mortal beings who will someday die and leave this life behind.
Watching someone fight off zombies is a way for me to experience that fear and anxiety in a safe way.
This is also why I don’t like realistic horror or slasher movies. They feel TOO real and close to home if there is any possibility it could happen in the real world.
Vampires, ghosts, monsters, zombies… they let me experience fear from a safe distance.
I can get lost in the moment of existential dread from the comfort of my sofa.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve become more sensitive and carefully curate what horror I watch. I find that in middle age, I prefer monster movies that focus mostly on characters and how they persevere through the unimaginable.
My recent favorites:
“Midnight Mass” and “The Haunting of Hill House” series on Netflix, directed by Mike Flannigan. Smarty and spooky and I fell in love with the characters.
“The Sandman” series (Netflix), based on the books by Neil Gaiman (this is a rare thing, but I liked the series better than the books). More fantasy than horror, but definitely some dark themes.
How to Sell a Haunted House and My Best Friend’s Exorcism, written by Grady Hendrix (the movie for Best Friend’s Exorcism is really bad - just read the book). I want to be friends with Grady. He is the perfect mix of hilarious and spooky.
Fairy Tale by Stephen King. I love King best when he writes fantasy.
What Moves the Dead by Ursula Vernon. A fresh take on The Fall of the House of Usher by Poe.
Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. Gothic says it all.
What about you?
Do you like scary books and movies?
Slashers or monsters?
Why do you enjoy the scary things you love?
