Finding a Therapist: Trust Your Gut
After I had my first child, a dear friend recommended a book about helping your baby develop healthy sleep habits. I read it. Twice. I desperately wanted to get some rest and feel like a sane human again. But every time I read that book, I felt judged and misunderstood. I was already exhausted and insecure, and now I felt shame as well because nothing she suggested worked for me and my special little baby who had reflux/GERD and a restless temperament.
Eventually, I became so frustrated that I literally put the book in the garbage. I hate to be wasteful, but in my sleep-addled brain, I just didn't want to risk making some other new mom feel like garbage for struggling with their baby's sleep.
When you're looking for a therapist, I hope you'll listen to your gut as well. Whether you are brand new to therapy or you've seen someone in the past, it's essential to find someone you feel comfortable with. You're most likely already feeling vulnerable or in pain, and the last thing you need is judgment or more shame and misunderstanding. If you're like most people I know, you're probably already pretty good at doling that out for yourself.
Most therapists offer a 15-20 minute free consultation, and this is a great opportunity for both of you to see if you'll be a good fit working together. They can make sure they are qualified to help you with what you need, and you can get a sense of how you feel talking to them. Even if you're nervous or worried about opening up to someone, you should get off the call feeling at least somewhat reassured and have a sense that this is someone safe to be vulnerable with.
If you feel judged, shamed, or not really heard or understood, then trust your gut. It's okay to say you need time to think about it or that this doesn't feel quite right.
If you're curious about chatting with me and seeing if I'm a good fit for you, I would love to schedule a call and hear more about you.
But whoever you choose, I'm over here wishing you all the best on your journey.
And don't be afraid to throw the (metaphorical) book in the garbage and prioritize what feels good for you.
