Avoidance

The other day I was visiting with my therapist (doing my own work helps me show up and do my best work with my clients), and I was miming my unwillingness to look at something difficult by covering my eyes with my hands. She laughed and said “Ignorance is bliss!”. I was laughing by this point too and said “Ignorance may be bliss, but avoidance is just anxiety”.

Do you see the way I called myself out there?

It’s a little like the monster under the bed when you’re a kid. You’re so scared to look so you just lay there frozen under the covers, imagining the worst thing you can think of. If you’re lucky, a parent comes in and shines a light under the bed so you can see it’s ok. I think our adult fears are a little like this too sometimes. We find such creative ways to avoid looking under the bed, all the while imagining the worst.

It can be really helpful to have someone hold your hand while they shine a light under the bed.

Because ignorance may be bliss, but avoiding what you’re afraid of is only making it worse.

Let me know if you need some help exploring what’s scary.