Unsolicited Advice is Criticism

Have you ever had the experience of talking to someone about a problem or difficulty you’re experiencing, and instead of listening and allowing you to process, they try to tell you what to do?

I don’t know about you, but this one is really hard for me. 

It leaves me feeling frustrated and angry.

Unsolicited advice feels like criticism.

Because when I’m trying to share my feelings I want to feel heard. I want to know that someone who cares about me understands, or at least is trying to understand.

Being told what you should do in those moments can feel like a boundary violation, but most likely, the person listening to you has no idea it’s happening. 

Next time this happens, try taking a breath and letting them know what you need.

“Actually, right now I just need to be heard.”

“I know you’re trying to help, but right now I just need to know you understand.”

Over time, I have learned to let my partner know upfront what I need.

“Hey. I would really love to talk to you about something that’s on my mind, but I don’t need advice or help right now. Are you in a place where you can just listen?”

If you need help setting boundaries, I’d love to chat.

Just click the “Request a Session” button to message me and we can schedule a free 15-20 minute consultation to see if working together is right for you.