Nourishing Rituals

I remember reading a year or so ago about the phenomenon of “revenge bedtime procrastination” - the idea that in our overly busy lives, with little time for leisure and self-care, we often stay up too late, sacrificing much-needed sleep for much-needed alone time. Whether you’re busy working at home with young children, or long hours in an office, it’s as though our brains crave some time that’s just ours alone. So instead of turning off the light and aiming for a solid 8 hours of sleep, we sit up in the dark on our favorite social media and next thing we know it’s hours later and we’re beating ourselves up and dreading how soon the alarm will go off. 

We all realize on an intellectual level that this isn’t really what’s best for us. We know that we need more sleep and that hour scrolling through our phones isn’t the restorative time we’re really craving. But we also crave time for ourselves that isn’t about what anyone else needs. 

There are still days when I do this, but it’s much less often than I once did, and I found that the antidote was carving out an intentional ritual that was just for me. 

I’m a morning person, but you may need this time late at night, or during your child’s nap time. But the idea is that you’re prioritizing yourself. Here’s what mine looks like: in the evening I get the coffee pot ready and set the timer for about 10 minutes before my alarm will go off. I put my planner and my journal, a pen, and a blanket next to my favorite chair in the living room. I set the alarm for about 45 minutes before the next person in my house will get up. If it’s cold, I set out my slippers and my cozy robe. This sounds like a lot, but it takes all of 5 minutes. Then in the morning, I let the dogs out, fix my cup of hot coffee and then sit down to do whatever I feel like. It’s my time. Sometimes I look at my planner and mentally prepare for the day. Sometimes I meditate or journal. Sometimes I just snuggle my dogs. 

What feeds your soul? Is it journaling, going for a run or walk, or calling a friend? Maybe making yourself a healthy breakfast or snack? Reading a book? Listening to music? 

There are seasons in life when this can feel impossible. Caring for a newborn. A family member is in the hospital. Juggling a full-time job and grad school. But even if you’re taking just 15 minutes for yourself, the intention and follow-through is a way of reminding your own precious soul that you matter. It can open up a small sliver of space to remind yourself of your value. That you don’t have to earn rest and joy by getting it all done and taking care of others.