Are Your Goals Based on Self-Hate or Self-Love?

The other morning I was reading something in the New York Times and the author asked if your resolutions and goals for the New Year sounded like they were written by someone who hates you. 

This felt like such a clarifying way to evaluate your goals… and a way to understand why so many people hate goal-setting and just feel awful and gross about it. 

Another way to think of this is:

Are your goals a celebration of what you love best about yourself and your life? Are they EXPANDING on what you love? 

Or are they shrinking and shaming you?

What is the story you’re telling about yourself related to your goal? 

Is it a story of confidence and self-love - one that’s asking you to step up into a more visible, more expansive version of your amazing self?

Or is it rooted in self-hatred or criticism, telling you to fix what is broken or wrong with you so you’re worthy of love and respect? 

A great way to change the feeling and intention behind your goals is to frame them from a place of love and self-worth. I love myself, therefore________.  (I love myself, therefore I choose foods that make my body feel strong and healthy/I get up 30 minutes early to write in my journal because it makes me happy/I only have one glass of wine because I don’t want to feel hungover/I set my running clothes out before bed so I can get up and go/I go ahead and sign up for that pottery class I’ve been thinking about because it sounds fun.)

If your goals feel more like “I hate myself, therefore_______”, then it may be time to reevaluate.

If you need help stepping forward with more love for yourself, I would love to help. Just click “Request a Session” to reach out and schedule a free 15-minute consultation call.