Write a Crappy Paper

One of my favorite quotes about perfectionism is by Jen Sincero:

“Perfectionism is just procrastination in a fancy outfit.”

When I was a full-time grad student, 5th-grade teacher, and mama/wife/friend/dog-mama, etc. I was completely overwhelmed. It had been years since I had to do serious academic writing and when it was time to get busy on a paper my anxiety and self-doubt would kick into high gear. I would find myself putting off getting started until the weekend it was due. The story underneath this putting off was not pretty and it went something like this: I suck and I’m not smart enough, and if I can’t do this really well, I’d rather not even start it. 

I don’t remember how I landed on my solution, but it has worked really well for me ever since… I give myself permission to do a crap job. That’s right. I will actually write down in my planner, “write a crap paper”. Somehow, this one shift is so liberating. It’s as though that really anxious perfectionist inside me - the one who thinks the world will fall apart and no one will love her if she isn’t amazing at everything - can take a deep breath and relax. Because writing a crappy paper… that’s easy.

But it turns out that my crappy papers are usually pretty ok. And then all I have to do is go back and clean them up. 

The hardest part is just getting started, and removing that expectation of perfection is incredibly freeing. 

It’s a phrase I use with my anxious, perfectionistic child all the time… just go ahead and get started and write a crappy report, crappy paper, make an awful PowerPoint, or whatever it is that seems impossible. Because only perfection is impossible. Crap is always within reach.